Chicken Biriyani for the lazies

All hail the chicken biriyani. The undisputed king of all dishes is not that hard to cook, but it did take me some time to figure out this recipe. Though I tell everyone that it is Hyderabadi dum biriyani, it's actually my own recipe. Guess I should win an award or something.
"I would like to dedicate this to my tummy, for guiding me and having faith in me. Even when I wanted to quit and have just pickles and curd rice, my tummy urged me to do more, to invent....." that would be my acceptance speech.

Anyways here is the easy to make biriyani recipe. Do the whole procedure in medium flame. Best if had with raitha, curd or boiled egg.

1. Pour about quarter a cup of oil into a cooker and put spices (for the uninitiated - elaichi, cloves and a lot of other smelly stuff) into it. If you don't have the spices you can still make the biriyani, but it won't smell exotic. Fry till you can smell the aroma. If you have cashews put them in too.
2.Put in a big onion. And remember it is very important to cut the onion before doing this. Add turmeric, coriander/cumin powder (less than 1 tea spoon each) and two large green chillies slit vertically. Add a chunk of butter into it and a few cilantro leaves. Stir fry till the onions look fried.
3. Add 1 tea spoon of ginger-garlic paste and half a big tomato. If you don't know how big a big tomato is, know that its just a bit smaller than a big onion. Fry till they form a paste.
4. Put the pieces of chicken into the paste. Add eight and three quarter tea spoons of water or an equivalent quantity of curd/plain yogurt. Add three teaspoons of biriyani masala and two tea spoons of salt. Stir till the liquid is almost boiled away.
5. Add two cups of rice (long grain/sona masoori/basmati) and four cups of water and mix well.
6. Now is the tough part. You have to taste your concoction and see if there is enough salt. Add it in quanta of half teaspoons, tasting it each time, till it is just salty. Overdo this and you can throw the whole thing into the garbage or punish stray dogs by letting them eat it.
7. Close the cooker and wait for one whistle. Switch off the stove (hmm....... did I tell you to switch it on first?). After about ten minutes open it and let it cool for another fifteen minutes.
8. Eat it.