Stop reading Ayn Rand

I was introduced to Ayn Rand during my undergrad days. I had read The Fountain Head and frankly had thought that it was a decent book. Later I found that several of my friends and acquaintances swore by it and labelled it as eye opening. I had begun to wonder if it really deserved all that praise. Then I got my hands on the 1100 page tome of hers, Atlas Shrugged, which actually is one the biggest English language novels of all time.

It is the toughest book I've ever read. Tough not because it was too cerebral or because of its length, but because its one of the most boring fiction novels I've laid my hands on. I finished it because it was a challenge, because I looked cool reading it during the commute to work and because I could proclaim to my friends over the coffee table that I had read it and hence was better than them. Not until somewhere near the 700 page mark did it stop being a potent soporific. After that the plot does get interesting for a few hundred pages. But then it gets carried away and ends with the most conceited and bizarre 50 page monologue ever by John Galt mofo that you just might bang your head on a wall screaming, 'Why the fuck did I start reading this shit?' Reading Atlas Shrugged converted me from an Rand agnostic into a strident Rand anti-theist.

Somehow Atlas Shrugged has developed and maintained its reputation as an eye opener, a classic that ought to be a text book instead of being labelled a boring book with crazy, bitchy lead characters who belong either in jail or in a mental asylum. When I later heard an unanimously hated manager at my office pledge his admiration for Rand and wish that he could emulate her heroes (this during an overseas work call) I smiled inside thinking no wonder people hated him. Whenever I saw someone read that book I warned them about it. And yet they all continued to read it and a tiny percentage of them managed to live through the exercise. I figured out why they do it. Its because it is intellectual masturbation. What about all those Rand worshipers who wake up early in the morning and recite verses from her work? Jerks all of them.

At this point you are probably wondering why I rant on about Rand being the individual responsible for the most number of hours wasted by humanity (OK second most, the first being Shah Rukh Khan). It is because of this. A serious wtf trend that is the most incongruous given the current hatred towards corporate greed. Why? Why are the jerks winning? I want to stymie this trend and hence this post.

First let me point out why reading Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead (to a lesser extent) is a waste of time:
1. Atlas Shrugged is obviously too lengthy with too many boring monologues that could have been edited out without missing on any content. I believe if the whole thing was shortened to around 500 pages its would have been a good read.

2. Some Problems with Rand's Objectivism - A meritocratic society that values creativity, integrity and innovation is undoubtedly good. But pushing capitalism to the extreme and applying techniques used at the stock market to dating and in relationships is ridiculous.

3. Superhuman/inhumane heroes: Roark, Rearden, Galt and that other guy were probably born in Krypton. I agree that it is wonderful to love and obsess about your work or creation. But to blow up a completed housing project even when the design was an obscene mockery of your original work is simply a crime. They are all egocentric maniacs without an iota of compassion. Disagreements can happen between equals without either party acknowledging the other to be on par. But if the disagreeing parties behave the way these guys do life would be impossible.

4. Bitchy Heroines: Obvious to anyone who reads it. The rationale given for the infidelities is stupid.

5. Ignorant and useless Populace: Almost all the people other than her central characters are slackers and leechers. Her lack of faith in contemporary society is staggering

6. Views on Altruism: She implies that letting her heroes thrive would ultimately help humanity more than any form of charity. This is probably true. But if charity is not highly regarded the world would be a much worse place. I am not engaging in wishful thinking here. Just think of the missionaries imparting education to remote African villages. They might do it for religious reasons but the people there benefit. Once these regions develop they might open up new markets or at least stop being a threat for existing markets there. But this might take one or more life times and hence this kind of charity might not be of interest to an objectivist. May be if the world had paid more attention to Somalia we wouldn't have pirates running amok today in the Indian Ocean. This is why I believe all forms of charity should be praised or in other words why none of them should be ridiculed.

There are several other people who share my opinion. Here are some funny ones: cracked, another rant (more extreme). Just search for Ayn Rand criticism or Ayn Rand evil to see what I mean.

Even if you dont agree with any of this it still doesn't make sense to read and praise Atlas Shrugged. Almost everyone today, especially among the young generation that makes up most of Rand's readers, recognizes the importance of meritocracy, individual rights and integrity. Do you really need to torture yourself and read this humongous book to learn what you already know?

I HAVE THE ANSWERS

The last few days have been tough for me. I had to conquer a few inner daemons, namely laziness and eh more laziness, only to be held back by a violent bout with indigestion. One might wonder how I got through those troubling times. Stop wondering. I was aided and inspired by the strongest force in the universe, Heman.

In between my research work I spent a lot of time watching all the episodes of 2002 version of Heman. In fact watching it was also a kind of research. Those of you who watched the 80s version of the show probably asked yourself some very hard hitting questions like "What is this 'power'?", "Where can I find that sword?", "Will I look like Heman when I grow up?", etc... The answer to some of them became apparent in the following years (though I am very very muscular and am probably as strong as some super heroes like Batman, I am still not as strong as Heman). But some of questions have vexed me for several years . The 2002 series gives answers to all those questions and does it in a much more engrossing manner. No longer do I have to spent sleepless nights wondering how I can defend the planet from evil sorcerers.

I am going to quickly list these new revelations:

Grayskull: Not the castle. Eternia had an all powerful king, Grayskull who defended the planet against villains who would make skeletor look like the kinder garden bully. When the entire planet was threatened by a very evil guy (I think his name was Hortag) he managedre to cast him and his army away into another dimension but the tremendous effort killed him. On his death all his powers transferred to his council, ever since called the elders, and to his sword. His wife is entrusted to guard the sword and the castle containing it.

Elders: After defending Eternia for a long time they foretold the coming of heman and retired storing their powers in castle Grayskull.

Sorceress: The first one was the queen of Eternia, Grayskull's wife. When one of them retires a replacement is found.

Skeletor: A villain keldor who was after the power of elders, before they retired. When he breached their fortress Randor, who later became the king - Adam's father, defeated him. Keldor was fatally injured in the fight and to save his life summoned Hortag's spirit. Hortag healed him but turned him into skeletor giving him more powers (I think).

Teela: She is the daughter of the sorceress and Man-at-arms Duncan's brother. Hence her adopted father Duncan is her uncle. She will one day become the sorceress.

Snake mountain: Actually the dead body of a snake god Serpos who had tried to conquer Eternia

When Adam bellows 'By the power of grayskull', the power of the ancient king flows into him.

To change back to Adam Heman chants 'Let the power return' or something like that.

Phew!

Jaswant and Jinnah

I usually stay clear of politics but this topic is too interesting. I am not a historian which is why I have given several citations. Pakistanis credit Jinnah as the creator of their nation and Indians also credit (may be blame) him for the same. A few days back Jaswant Singh, a respected figure in Indian politics, proclaimed that Jinnah was not to be solely blamed and that leaders of Indian National Congress were equally or even more responsible for splitting the nation. I spent a little bit of time googling this topic myself and this is what I found.

The British fanned the flames of communalism with their divide and rule policy but they didn't start the mess. The origins of the Hindu-Muslim schism seem to have been socio-economic. According to [1] [2] there was resentment among the Muslim elite who stood to loose influence with the advent of English as the official language and of modern education. It seems Hindus were faster to adapt to those conditions and Muslims began to loose prominence. The Muslim elite would have lost even more with the introduction of democratic processes and in 1906 they formed the All India Muslim League. They demanded and secured separate legislative councils for Muslims.

Jinnah [5] was member of INC who later drifted away and became the leader of AIML. Jinnah branded INC as a Hindu party despite the fact that several Hindu parties such as Hindu Mahasaba (they performed poorly in the elections) and organizations such as RSS already existed. Even in 1927 when he was the leader of AIML Jinnah opposed the idea of separate electorates for Muslims and put forth the 14 points [3] as a regulation of INCs idea of unified electorates. INC rejected the idea. I guess this is Jaswant Singh's cardinal point, but read the 14 points and compare that to the democratic ideals of INC. After a long hiatus from politics he returned to India from England to campaign for the 1937 elections. AIML fared poorly losing in most of the Muslim majority states but gaining votes in Muslim minority areas. INC won in Hindu majority areas [4] and parties such as Unionist Party won in Muslim majority areas. Jinnah then offered to ally with Congress if they accepted them as the sole representatives of Indian Muslims and shared power with them. INC of course did not accept the ridiculous offer.

Jinnah went on a virulent campaign to make all Muslims accept AIML as their sole representative and in 1940 began to demand a separate country for Muslims. He successfully campaigned in NFWP, Baluchistan and Punjab, where he impressed upon them that the Muslims in the other states (where they were a minority) would be mistreated by their congress governments and that AIML was the only party that could help them by representing all Muslims in British India. In the elections of 1946 AIML had made drastic improvements and won most of the Muslim majority electorates, but INC had won majority of the votes in the country. The British tried to avoid partition with a call for separate constitutions for separate regions which INC and AIML would jointly govern, but this idea was also rejected by AIML [6]. An interim government was formed by the majority party INC which infuriated Jinnah and led him to declare "We do not want war, if you want war we accept your offer unhesitatingly. We shall have India divided or we shall have India destroyed." The infamous direct action campaign [7] was launched and thousands of Hindus and Muslims were killed, raped or maimed in the concomitant violence. After that no one could hinder AIML. With the looming threat of civil war the creation of Pakistan was inevitable.

So there it is, born out of a socio-economic power struggle Pakistan is a caricature of what it was meant to be. Created to prevent mistreatment of Muslims, it got split due to bias against East Pakistan (Bangladesh) and has long been accused of bigotry against the people of Baluchistan by the power centre in Punjab province. To make matters worse NWFP is teeming with tribal warlords, Taliban etc. and is said to be one of most dangerous places in the world.

Coming back to Jaswant Singh, this is how I see it. INC wanted to represent whole of India. AIML wanted to be regarded as the sole representative of Indian Muslims. But in a democracy the majority party would rule and hence AIML could never govern the country. Even though some Muslim leaders such as those in Unionist Muslim League [8] wanted to collaborate with INC (in fact they had collaborated), Jinnah was opposed to this. I think its clear who is responsible for the creation of Pakistan. Blaming the INC is pointless. I don't think the way to handle dissent is to capitulate to the dissenting party. The INC's mistake seems to be that they ignored Jinnah and that they did not foresee the partition. As for calling Jinnah secular, how can anyone responsible for the reprehensible direct action day be called secular?

[1] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pakistan_Movement

[2] - http://mrmulliner.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/journey-of-communalism-in-modern-india.htm

[3] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteen_Points_of_Jinnah

[4] - http://mrmulliner.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/growth-of-communalism-in-india-ii-1937-1947.htm, also read this

[5] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Ali_Jinnah

[6] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1946_Cabinet_Mission_to_India

[7] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Direct_Action_Day

[8] - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unionist_Muslim_League

Interesting side note [1]: The word 'Pakistan' referred to the five Northern units of India, Viz: Punjab, (Afghanistan Province), Kashmir, Sind and Baluchistan.

[2]: Khan Abdul Ghaffer Khan tried to emulate Gandhiji in NFWP. A sad story.

[3]: Great Bong has an interesting post about this topic

Incident at Heganahalli - Part 3

Author's Note: Read part 1 and part 2 first.

The solution came to me as clear and loud as a KSRTC bus. It was in fact a KSRTC bus parked close by. The driver must have seen the mob, abandoned all hope and run away. The mob would reach the bus in about 30 minutes I calculated. But before that they would probably damage all the shops in the area. I knew what to do to attract them all away from the destruction and pillaging and to satiate the primordial drives that seemed to have hijacked their senses. I hurried into the bus and slowly drove it close to the junction. Then I honked twice.

"Pom Pom."

One by one the rioters stopped their frenzied rampage and walked to the bus. They were like the moths that fly towards the light in my sit out. I had run out the back door to my bike and was ready to flee at the first sign of danger. A plump middle aged lady jerked off a road divider** and smashed a window of the bus. I caught the look on her face during the act. There was pure bliss there. Others quickly followed and then some smarty put a towel in the petrol tank and lit it. The metal giant burst into flames.

Everyone gathered around the burning locomotive as if to pay last respects. Several minutes passed and yet no one moved. They dropped the weapons they held; their yearnings had been quelled, energies spent and it was time to return to their families. The mob was dispersing. I took one last look at the juggernaut that stopped for the common man, the cheap transport of the masses that always inexplicably bore the brunt of their anger, before heading back to the station. On my way I passed a fire engine and an ambulance trying to make its way to the carnage almost one and half hours after the violence had erupted.

By the time I headed back home that day I was despondent. The brush with real danger, the madness of the mob and above all the mistreatment by that wretched inspector had made me feel depressed. The worst part was that I couldn't treat myself with my usual medicine. Top Star was no more. It seems many of Gowda's other bars had also been destroyed that day. I thought I should get used to it and went to a wine shop that was on the way and bought a quarter of RC.

As I entered my house I saw Malathi sitting near the door step. She looked distraught; her eyes were moist with tears. She hugged me and whispered in between sobs, "I was so worried."

"I am OK," I said beginning to feel better already.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**- based on an actual event

Incident at Heganahalli - Part 2

Author's Note: Read part 1 first.

My heart sank. "I am right here," I said as I sheepishly moved forward from behind the HC.

"Right. Go ahead and find out where they are now and how bad the situation is." He then proceeded to yell more orders with so much gusto that I wished for an umbrella to shield me from all the spit that came my way. Anbu Valsan was hurt. He didn't care about the wound. He only cared about the rule of terror. What was the point in being a police man if the low-lifes didn't buckle at their knees on seeing us? How else could ten of us reign over a thousand of them? We all knew that the halo of terror was our best weapon, the scepter with which we subjugated the masses.

I was to go ahead as a scout and do reconnaissance. Meanwhile the rest of them would collect themselves, wake up those who were still sleeping, get the lathis, helmets, cane shields etc., to ready to take on a mob. I guess saar felt that I didn't need any of that extra protection. What a [synonym for cat]. So I left the station not knowing how much danger was on my way, only knowing that I needed to transfer to another station soon.

As I neared the Jaaravanahudi junction I caught the acrid smell of burning tyres. Several of them were stacked in the middle of the road and people holding [ruling party] flags were forcing nearby shops to down shutters. They held aloft banners that read "He ordered wine, he got swine", "Paid for pegs, served like pigs", "Gobi chilli good, piggy chills bad" and so on. But the centerpiece was a huge banner that read, "Justice to Mangappa. Gowda's liquor killed his ticker." In between the mayhem I saw that something else was burning. Top Star Bar.

"Nooooooo." But I couldn't get close. One of the miscreants spotted me and uttered a guttural cry that gave me the shivers. I turned my bike around and raced away with the sound of my rattling heart drowning all else. After traversing a safe distance I called the station.

"Yah we know there is a riot there. We got a complaint a few minutes back."

"Why didn't you call me?" my voice broke like that of a pubescent boy. Apparently none of those [hen drinker (drink like with a straw)] thought about me. I felt like tearing my uniform apart and joining the rioters. Just then two jeeps zoomed past me with sirens blaring. The cavalry had arrived. Normally when the ruling party instigates a riot we keep a distance. But this time it was personal; at least for the psychopath who ran the show.

My colleagues jumped off their jeeps with lathi's held high and the dozen and a half of them beat into pulp the lone rioter who had strayed too far away from the rest. Soon the other rioters saw this and attacked the police men with their sticks, tube lights, cycle chains etc. A bloody battle ensued and within minutes the men in khakhi were lying prostrate on the ground groveling and groaning. Some of them were trying to escape by crawling on all fours.

To my surprise one of the jeeps turned around and came towards me. It was him, my enemy. While his men were getting pulverised, the inspector had stayed back in his jeep. "He is probably worried about spoiling his complexion," I guessed.

"Stay here and make sure it doesn't get out of hand." And then he sped away leaving me gaping in disbelief.

The mob was getting bigger. It was no longer just party gundas. People had been intimidated by incessant news reports about the swine flu for months. They were desperate, but impotent. They would have grabbed any chance to get even with the invisible enemy, no matter how incredulous it was. The time was ripe for a riot. As more people gathered at the junction shouting slogans and blocking vehicles, Top Star Bar burned away in the background.

Then it got ugly. They pelted stones at a Maruthi car that was passing by and then pushed a middle aged man off his scooter and burned it. They were getting angrier and hungry for more violence. I knew I was in terrible danger. They had to be pacified somehow, I had to quell their rage or at least get out of their way.

continued in part 3....

Incident at Heganahalli - Part 1

Author's Note: Three points. Firstly although the actual dialogues were in Kanada and Desi Englees all of them have been translated to English here for the ease of the reader. Please call your local police station for the original version. Secondly all swear words have been edited out and replaced with 'family audience' friendly words. Call your local police station for more details about the actual swear words. Thirdly, the story is set in Bangalore as homage to my friends there. But it might have been any other Indian city as well.

I woke up that day to the sound of my wife's gargles.

"I haf pacd Bisi Bele Bhad fo yor lunh," she said before spitting out through our window.

"Today is already turning out great," I mumbled and staggered to our bathroom.

"Goodbye kano," she said and smiled at me as she stepped out of the house.

With a grunt I dismissed her. I hated that she had to work. "If only her [popular four letter verb/noun/..]-er father had given more when I married her."

My daily morning routine consists of a 4 km jog, several sit ups, push ups and chin ups before elaborate weight lifting exercises followed by a bath and breakfast. But today I was already too late, so I skipped a few steps and went directly to an elaborate breakfast. Don't think this happened everyday, sometimes I did take a bath.

I hurriedly changed into my uniform and rushed to the station. It was OK that I was almost 45 minutes late, but any more and it would have been less than one hour before my tea break and that would have made me feel guilty. After signing the attendance register, I went to the station entrace and stood guard like I did every other day. I don't know why the Heganahalli police station needed a guard at the entrance. Only a militant would dare attack the station and in case of any sign of such an attack I would definitely drop my rifle and run screaming into the station. "Hmm, may be that is what they want me to do. To warn the others so that they can also run."

These same thoughts occur to me everyday, I thought. They usually precede very warm thoughts about saar, Inspector Anbu Valsan, my greatest enemy. That [question parentage] was the reason I was on guard duty . The [the popular four letter word]-er put me here instead of Manjunath, just because he is his wife's cousin. That cheap [very subtle hint at oedipus complex]. I was sweating profusely and was trembling with rage. I just needed to hold on for a few more minutes till the boy brought hot tea and masala vada to cool me down. Then the cycle would repeat till lunch.

It was a public secret that the son of a [question mother's species] kept a tube of Fair and Lovely and a Sandalwood scented 'scent' in his desk drawer. The latter would be used whenever anybody from the fairer sex made the mistake of coming alone to the station. After being intimidated by the lecherous glares of the constables outside they inevitably ended up in the inspector's office hoping for a serving of justice. Instead they got served a full meal of spicy smooth talk from the philandering son of a [question mother's species again].

When the tea boy finally came I went to the head constable's desk for an extra vada. He was chatting with another constable. "You know about the spat between Bageerappa and Madheya Gowda? Bageerappa has vowed to ruin Gowda it seems."

"Yah, I heard saar. Gowda was stupid to help [opposition party name] during the election."

"Yah, right. And there is also a rumor going around that Gowda's bars are selling food and liquor contaminated with swine flu. "

"Is it?", I exclaimed. I had met many of my closest friends at Gowda's Top Star Bar; Kalyani, Kingfisher, McDowells, RC and several others. Infact I had gone there to renew our friendship just the previous night. Did I have the deadly flu? Was it possible? How did it get in the liquor? I was scared.

"Shambu you didn't go to Top Star did you?" Seeing the expression on my face he laughed, a wholehearted unconstrained laugh that shook his giant pot belly and by contact his table. The tremors caused his tea glass to topple and spill on his table.

I barely heard all the profanities spewed by the HC while I walked back to my post.

[23 yawns later]

Constable Manjunath was running to the station screaming, "They attacked Anbu saar. They attacked Anbu saar." On seeing no change in my countenence he proceeded into the station and repeated his chant. He said some party workers had stopped the inspector's jeep when he was returning from Jyothi Nivas college and threw stones at him. I couldnt care less, why did he have to go to that college anyway? It was almost 15 kms away and he went there everyday.

Then the jeep arrived and Anbu ran into his office to look in the mirror he kept at his desk. He was furious when he saw a small bloody swelling on his forehead. The wound he had on his shoulder from which he bled all over his uniform didn't seem to bother him.

"Get me constable Shambu," he growled.

continued in part 2.....

Karunesh

Nothing much to write here except that the music of Karunesh is heavenly. Its refreshing and unique; a wonderful mix of Indian, chinese and western music. He is not Indian like I had thought at first. He is a German who had a spiritual trip in India after a serious biking accident and was indoctrinated by Osho. But the music sounds predominantly Indian and I love it. My favourites so far:

Punjab http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqiI0gTA134

Alibaba http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3n-LQfmsn0

Solitude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dSiL5wSZf4

Bombay pure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJaGdGa2qSA

The genre is world music/relaxation/dance.

Past Positive, Present Hedonist and Future Oriented

Earlier today I watched this talk by Philip Zimbardo Professor Emeritus at Stanford. He gives us a unique viewpoint on how we view time and how it affects our life along with statistical evidence. Some part of it might seem intuitively evident but naming the different states and showing us how much our time perception influences our life is a great achievement. One interesting part of the talk was about how people near the equator are present hedonist (too much of that is not good) while people away from it are future oriented on account of the stable weather and the wildly varying weather in the two areas.

Scientology, Stupidity

When I was a fresh graduate after my undergrad studies I used to believe that education would cure most of world's problems. In retrospect I see how naive it was of me. I had the notion that the US is a rich country with an educated population where things are close to prefect barring a few exceptions. I thought people here would not be easily swayed by false idealogies. Then two incidents changed my mind. First was Tom Cruise's Scientology inspired psycho rants. Here was an educated, successful man who was somehow subverted by this nasty religion. It is a powerful religion with several celebrities (and lawyers) enrolled. How could this happen? Second was the evolution vs intelligent design debate which was even worse. It was a sad day when established scientists had to oblige to debate with religious zealots who thought they were qualified after a few hours of reading on the net. The best answer to these morons is here.

From what I know, the first time the truth about Scientology was revealed was in South Park season 9 episode 12. It is an amazing episode and I suggest you watch it at www.southparkstudios.com. Scientology spreads by preying on peoples' insecurities. I have myself seen their special meter when I was in Tampa. They seemed innocuous and I believe the first trial is free. Once they get someone hooked on to it they start asking for money. They frame charges against anyone who opposes them and discredit any former followers who reveal their secrets. Sounds like it does not have any ideals of justice like other religions. According to this article they regularly engage in violence and are more fraudulent than I had thought.

Education is obviously not enlightenment, only a means to it. Though literacy is becoming widespread don't think that stupidity central, the dark force that turns unsuspecting people stupid, is taking it lying down. It constantly reinvents itself and mutates into disguises that dupe the masses into taking it for wisdom. Think of the global warming disbelievers, intelligent design proponents and most troubling, the republicans. This is ofcourse not limited to the US. The ongoing Hindutva movement that has hit the educated Indian middle class is IMHO an example (not equating hindutva and scientology here). The richest Indians are probably outside the country. They are highly educated and very succesful people. And they do selective abortions in us and uk even after living for generations in cultures where a girl child is not viewed as a burden.

So where is all this going? To the Dilbert principle ofcourse. People are stupid. You, me, all of us. Its just that some of us are not stupid all the time.

Mighty Roark

Prologue: I have obliged your appeals for a new story. Please stop bombarding me with requests and enquiries about my hiatus from creative writing.

Roark was perched on a shiny precipice when suddenly it was not dark anymore. He scrambled to the nearest shade and took a peek. Though it was blindingly bright he could make out that one of the giants was out there. The shadow of the creature seemed to stretch over the entire horizon. Then it moved towards him. Roark could feel his heart skip a few beats. As it neared him the stench was overwhelmingly nauseating. Fear creeped up over him and it took him all his will power to be still. He knew what would happen if the creature saw any sign of life down here.

It was on a similar day that he had witnessed the massacre of his entire family. One of the younglings who didn't know about the giants was playing outside when one of them appeared along with the blinding light. The youngling panicked and ran back towards the family. He didn't know that the giant's gaze had followed him. In less than a moment they were all mercilessly crushed.

"May be the same would happen to me now," Roark thought rather placidly.

The giant stopped. Something had slipped from his limbs and large yellow globules bounced off the earth making such a ruckus that Roark thought his head would explode. The giant for some reason quickly ran away. Roark felt his fear pass. He was emboldened by the fact that he anyway did not have much to loose. He cautiously walked towards the globules and climbed over one of them. There were many of these wonderful globules scattered over the earth. He seemed to be enthralled by them more and more every minute. Then he took a bite out of it. It felt good, refreshing in fact. He took many more bites of the globule. He gorged on it like he did not care about anything else in this world. He feasted till he knew there was no place left in his stomach for any more. Then he ate some more. The only thought he had before he passed out was that for the first time he took something from them, the giants. He had had his revenge. He was glad.

Next to Roark lay a translucent object with jagged edges on which was a pattern he had not been able to discern. That pattern was "ITAMIN TABL".

"AAHHHHHH." Roark had woken up to terrible pain. There was a storm trying to burst every vein and sinew in his body. In between the violent outbursts of pain he could see that he was growing, with terrible speed. He was transforming or even metamorphosising. He was several times taller and his muscles were at least a hundred times bigger. His wings were a magnificent orange and his antennae were needles of steel. Thus was born the MIGHTY ROACH - protector of the cockroach realm.

Yeesh..... Rubbish. I don't feel like writing today. Sorry readers I am stuck with cockroaches. As compensation I give you this, a story I wrote for a creative writing contest in my old office. Topic was 'Creating our future'. Reproduced with all errors intact.

Creating our future

It was a creepy night... Jark's severed head was rolling down the hill. His wife Julie was singing maniacally "Jark and Julie went up the hill....... Jark is now rolling down the hill". And then she started trembling and cried "Jark come back, come back Jark".

::Flash back: 2 months ago::
Captain Zork was adamant. He wanted his son Jark to join the intergalactic flight school. He always told him "Son this is for your future.... I just want you to be happy". Jark wanted to run away from home to join the circus as a clown. But his love for Julie stayed him. Julie was his childhood sweetheart.

The next morning he went to see Julie. "I cannot live like this. You know how much I want to be a clown, but if I become a clown I might not be able to support you. Oh! What should I do?"

With tears in her eyes Julie said "Your father cannot decide your destiny. We create our future. My destiny is to be with you. So I will join you in the circus and become your partner clown."

Suddenly it started to rain heavily and Jark and Julie were dancing.........

::Flash back: 2 minutes ago::
Two clowns where running up a hill one behind the other. Jark was running for his life. Julie was behind him with a laser gun. They reach the summit. Jark stops. Panting heavily he says "Have you gone crazy?".

Julie aims for his head and fires. The heat ray slices his neck in two. Julie starts singing maniacally......

::NOW::
Julie runs to the well and calls out to Jark. Jark shouts back "I am chained to the well. Shoot at the chains with your laser."

ZAP....ZAP....

{Yes dear readers the real Jark is alive and well. His father had sent an imposter wearing a rubber mask to kill Julie, but she proved to be smart.}

Jark looks at the azure sky and then at his beautiful sweetheart and asks "How did you know it was not me?".

"I didn't."

ZAP....ZAP....

Julie repeated her chant as Jarks head (the real Jarks head) was rolling down the hill "Jark and Julie went up the hill....... Jark is now rolling down the hill. I am no longer a clown. HA HA HA"

We make our future the way we want it, especially if we have a laser gun.

Epilogue: Don't be shocked . I took it as a chance to feed them back all the shit they shoved at me. I e-mailed the work to our HR as follows:

Hi Shurpanaka (name changed to not cause offence),

Attached is my entry for creative writing. I give more importance to participation than winning, but if you want give me a prize for this (??) I will reluctantly accept.
Regards,
Manu

The phantom chick

I usually try to avoid putting up silly events from my daily grind. But the one you are about to read is in no way silly. Its more like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

 

I was boiling eggs for today's dinner when I heard a soft clicking sound from the kitchen. I was afraid we had rats or some other infestation and so went closer to check. From up close it sounded more like chirping. It was coming from the vessel I was boiling eggs in. I lifted it up and checked if there was anything behind it.

 

Nothing.

 

On top of that when I lifted the vessel the chirping increased. There was no doubt; the sound was coming from the eggs. But how? Was there a chick in there? I quickly drained the water.

 

The chirping stopped. I took the eggs/chick in a shell and checked it against a light but couldnt see anything. I tried shaking it, all the while imagining a tiny chick getting knocked around in the shell. But I didn't feel anything solid inside them. There was nothing in them that could have made that sound. I was confused for a second. I finally cracked open all of them to convince myself.

 

After reading all this you might think that I am crazy. I thought so too. I think every once in a while we are faced by such a profound experience that we question the world around us. We ask if we really know whats going on and if something slipped under the veal of reality and manifested in front of you. My tryst with the phantom chick was such a moment. 

 

Also let me clarify that I didn't steal the eggs from some farm. It came from a store where they are supposed to sell unfertilized eggs. So in retrospect I see that there was no way a chick could have been in there. Consider also the fact that the eggs might have been in packaging for several weeks. There is however this. May be the chick was just floating through this space when I heard the sound. 

Netbooks update

I bought one. A Dell inspiron mini 9 for $180 ($169 + tax) from the outlet website. Its the minimum configuration with 512 MB RAM and 4 GB SSD memory running Ubuntu Linux. For the price its simply great. I will compliment the system with a 4 GB or 8 GB SDHC card. Eagerly waiting for the delivery. Today they will release the mini 10 model and so expect more deals on mini 9 and mini 12. I don't think there will be a cheaper deal in the near future.

 

Another good deal that I read about was the sale on ASUS Eee PC 900a in Best Buy stores. The reported prices varied from $160 - $200 in different areas. It is also a good deal but it should be noted that it has very low backup. Its reported to have less than 1 hr 30 mins whereas the mini 9 has about 3 hrs 30 mins.

 

Once I get the system I will also explore online file storage and remote desktop access to my laptop and work server. I might add more RAM later. For Windows netbooks there are several options like Zumo drive, MS Live Mesh and Gladinet for extra storage and remote access. But the Linux models are always cheaper ones.

Netbooks - now is not the time.

I have been scouring the net to find a good deal for a netbook. For the uninitiated, a netbook is a small laptop with a screen thats around 9 inches wide diagonally and weighs about 1 kg. Its processing power is limited and cannot be used to run heavy programs like games or matlab. Most models cant run windows vista, but who cares about that? The most popular models are Asus ee PC, MSI wind, Acer aspire one and Dell inspiron mini. Lenovo, HP, Toshiba and Sony also have models though they not as popular as the others due to the high cost.

 

Apart from its small size and light weight, the good ones also have upto 7 hrs of battery life. Its usually priced between $250 - $400. I think it makes sense to buy one as a second computer for use while travelling and also while going for lectures when you might want to look up pdfs or chat on gtalk. My current laptop is about 3.5 kgs and its a pain carrying it around.

 

That said when I looked deeper into the details this does not seem to be the best time for such a purchase. The machines have a processor called the Intel Atom. It is power efficient but not powerful. Benchmarks show that the performance of a 1.6 GHz Atom is almost same as that of an older Intel processor, celeron M 900 MHz. The Intel platform seems to be unnecessarily costly, atleast thats what the tech forums say.

 

Other processors for netbooks like an ARM based Freescale chip, which would be much more power efficient, are slated for release later this year. Another reason to wait is the impending release of NVIDIAs ION platform which will make the systems much more graphics capable. Also the pricing seems to be wrong. Dell sells their bare bones model for $249, but had just 3 weeks back sold a few refurbished peices in the outlet website for $174. I believe when newer models are released many of the older ones will be available for less than $200. So wait, if not for the newer chips atleast for lower prices.

When David went to a dentist

If you have the habit of watching the most viewed videos on youtube you've most certainly seen this one. David went to the dentist and got high on the laughing gas that was presumably used as an anesthetic. On their way back his dad(?) recorded him and thought it was funny. Well it is very funny especially to the Americans who think its cool to get stoned.

Then came the Christian Bale rant on the set of Ternimator 4 that goes on for about 4 mins. That one is a very powerful peice of dialogue delivery IMHO. Then some genius combined to the two videos to give this. Superb comedy. And then this. I ve been watching these over and over again. Its still funny.

Singularity

One of my first blog entries was on singularity. If the enthusiasm seen in the net is any indication this concept has gained wide attention and now there is a singularity institute (1) and even a singularity university (2). Check out the many blogs (3) for more fascinating news on this.

Singularity refers to a technological development that will forever change the fate of the human race. A line from 2001: A space odyssey comes to my mind: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" (his third law). Its appeal to science fiction literate geeks is obvious. I belong to this category and have been following the evolution of the idea for sometime now.

Among the paths proposed towards singularity are the creation of an artificial intelligence or the creation of a superior human brain using genetics and symbiotic electronics (like in a cyborg) or a combination of both with feedback resulting in resonance. I have no idea about the second path, but the first one is familiar. My research is related and I have read some of the scientific literature in the area since it is my personal goal too. It is with that knowledge that I make this daring statement "we don't yet have the technology to do this".

That might not sound surprising to many, but I will still go ahead and clarify. We have methods that show promise in very limited applications. But not much has been done to tie these methods together. Reinforcement learning, genetic programming, Godel machines are keywords that will return related results on google (also). But I couldn't find any evidence of work done to create intelligence. May be the old AI idea of coding everything can help. There is so much work done in the field on the separate methods I feel its time we started doing extensive research on creating a true meta-learner. This is where all the singularity enthusiasts can help, they can provide a framework that might in the future be the base from which to develop true AI.

So the university and institute have a lot of work to do and I wish them all the success. I must say that the community also seems to have a lot of nut cases. Some of them see this as a shot at immortality, they will upload their brains to a machine and when possible download it to a cloned brain. Ha! And just imagine the impact immortality will have on our society.

TED talks

Technology- Entertainment - Design

Experts from these three walks of life share their ideas every year during the TED talks. Now we can see them on youtube.

http://www.ted.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/tedtalksdirector

These are truly remarkable people most of whom have not only poineered new techniques but are also so eloquent that they can convey the crux of their ideas in about 20 minutes. Each person gives a talk on new ideas from their field like physics or philosophy and using their own methods makes sure that everyone gains something from the lecture.

And the themes are very diverse. Today I watched videos on string theory, the power of memes, insight into the workings of the brain and the problem with too much choice. They were all engaging and informative. I feel wiser and entertained at the same time. Perfect.

the eight months....

The question of the hour ...... What was I doing during the 8 months when I didn't blog? Its a very long story. But I ll cut it short and tell you why it got so extended. I was thinking about what to write here next. I wanted something substantial, something profound so that the intervening period of absence would be excused. Several good ideas were rejected, they werent great. Finally I got it.

Expect a grand post. Read it and change your life forever. It is a bit lengthy, that post and I am now refining the final draft. In the mean time I shall write a few smaller ones...... just to make the wait easier for you.